Saturday, February 12, 2011

VD Part 1

Overheard while talking to myself the other day......

Is love finite?  I mean, is it within the realm of possibility that we as humans only possess the ability to only love a finite amount of people throughout the course of one lifetime? (I’m all for reincarnation, btw)

"It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."  Is that true?  I mean, is it possible that we, after a certain amount of times of giving of ourselves to those who we have loved, and cared for, and shared our most intimate thoughts, that after a certain point, we are no longer capable of fully releasing ourselves to another.

That moment we feel when we KNOW we are falling hopelessly in love with another.  The feeling rushes over you, your face blushes, you feel lightning shooting out of your fingers and toes... That one singular memorable moment.... Are we only to experience that a limited amount of times?  Can one run out of love?  Can you only have your heart torn out so many times before it just STOPS giving itself away again?
Now I’m not talking about, “I really see myself spending time with _________ for the rest of my life.”  That’s companionship.  A vital component of relationships, but not LOVE. Well not completely, anyways, a small part of it perhaps.

Not “She/he makes me feel so good when I’m with them.”  That’s mutual respect, and paying attention to detail, and genuinely caring for another human being.  Frankly I think people should do that more every day anyhow.  Not enough mutual respect in this world if you ask me.

I’m talking blinding over-the-top love that makes your knees weak, and your tummy full of butterflies when you see your lover walk into the room.  THAT’S what I’m talking about.  Can it be that we run out of that feeling?  That it just goes away, and we’re just “Eh, yeah, glad you’re back from the store, honey.  Dinner ready?”  Do we just get complacent and ignore it?  It starts to fade after time, and then it’s just not there at all anymore?  Never to be experienced again?


  1. Hmm. I think that to really respond to this, I'll have to do a post of my own, because I can feel myself going into rambling mode.

    By then I E.T's a cool guy, so I will leave a somewhat proper comment.

    The 4th of July: A Love Story

    New Love: Fireworks
    Fireworks are awesome. They're loud, they're bright and most of the time they are associated with beer (or tequila or whiskey or vodka), and who could argue against that. Only after a while, fireworks can get annoying. They're loud (wait, wasn't this a good thing? yes, but it gets to be a bore and it gives you a headache), they smell like rotten eggs, and I fucking despise the mosquitoes that bite you the entire time that you're watching the fireworks.

    Old love: Fireflies
    After the fireworks are over, and let's be honest, no one-NO ONE-has fireworks all of the time. People either go home and go to bed, waiting until the next night, or year, of fireworks, or there are the ones that choose to hang around on the back porch, sipping a pint and watching the fireflies. Some people would be content with this and would never miss it if they never saw fireworks again. Then there are others that, while the fireflies are nice, they get bored and become anxious for fireworks again. I guess it all depends on the person themselves, whether they've been burned by enough fireworks or just simply prefer them to fireflies, and also who are the are watching the fireworks or fireflies with.

    I dunno. That was a pretty shitty analogy after all, and I managed to ramble even though I said I wouldn't. I don't even think I really answered your question, E.T., so you may even want to delete this crazy biotch's comment here. ;-)

    Also I don't know if you have many married followers, E.T, but whenever I express my views on the subject, I usually get told by at least one married person who wrong I am. That's fine, I'm not out to convert anyone, and honestly, I don't want to. I don't understand the mechanisms of my heart (and even less than usual recently, much to my puzzlement) much less theirs, so I'm going to tell anyone how they should use it.

  2. After 45 years and counting on this planet and being in the same relationship for 25 of these (notice how I’m establishing my credentials for this answer) I firmly believe that, and to quote you - "blinding over-the-top love that makes your knees weak, and your tummy full of butterflies when you see your lover walk into the room" cannot maintain a relationship. How many marathon runners (well the good ones anyway) sprint away from the start line and make it to the end…If one or both parties in a relationship live for just the lightning bolt moments then the relationship is doomed…..

  3. I have to agree with Mr. Blacklog, I have been with the same person nearly half my life (I'm 37, you do the math) and the fireworks are too much of a sensory overload to maintain constantly. I think it ebbs and flows, ya know. We walk a fine line between love and hate in our relationship. Sometimes I REALLY do hate him, but I love him for so many reasons that it never goes completely away. I know that is random and confusing, but it is what it is.

    So, my long-winded answer is no. Sadly, no we can't keep the fireworks forever....

  4. You have read of enough of my blog to know that I have zero credibility on the topic of love and/or relationships as I am a continual trainwreck when it comes to that but at least you know I am honest so I am going to throw my two cents in anyways. You're welcome.
    I, despite all of the carnage, still believe that that feeling, that confirmation of initial love, will always be within the capacity of us as people to experience. It is, however, our choice to do so. I some people just choose to stop because the reward no longer outweighs the risk for them.
    I never had those feelings for my husband but I married him anyways because it was the next logical step. I did have those feelings for one person after my marriage ended but he was toxic for me so I overruled that feeling with logic as a form of self-preservation. But I don't regret letting myself feel that because it was the one and only time in my life that I ever did.
    Will I let myself do it again? Sit back, get bitten by mosquitoes and enjoy the thrill of the show as the sweet Kat described above? Or will I settle for fireflies and lemonade from the safety of my screen in patio? I don't know, but I think the choice will be mine to make.
    Random Girl

  5. I'm very pleased with your insights. Most impressive. Return for part 2.....

  6. I've loved and lost. I think I exhausted my chances.

  7. Chrissy, you have never struck me as someone who would give up. I think there are more adventures ahead for you. :-)

  8. Believe it or not, I too have loved.

    It was exhausting.

    I prefer lust.

    It's simpler and the orgasms are more frequent.


    - B x