Thursday, February 17, 2011

Lemme Talk To The System

On the phone with the bank, and it went a little something like this.......

I’d like to stop payment on a withdrawl from an internet website.  I bought some parts for my bike, but the first order said it didn’t go through.  I went back to re-do my order, and apparently, they both went through, according to my online bank account.

“You need to contact them to have them stop the inquiry on your account, Sir.”

I did contact them, and they said to contact my bank.

“There isn’t anything I can do for you Sir, it’s a debit transaction”

I understand that it’s a debit transaction, I’m asking you to stop ONE of the identical payments to the SAME vendor, it should be pretty easy to just stop one of them, shouldn’t it?  I mean, it’s my money after all, and I’m asking you to do this one thing for me.

“The System won’t let me do that, Sir.”

The System?  The System won’t let you?

“Yes, sir, The System will not allow it.”

Well then let me talk to The System.

“Sir, The System is our computer network.”

Well aren’t you sitting in front of a computer terminal?

“Yes, of course I am.”

Well then tell The System that since it’s my money, I would like one payment stopped.

“The System won’t allow me to do that Sir.”

Then put Tron on the fucking phone, and I’ll straighten it out with The System myself, since you’re obviously not capable.

“Would you like to speak to a supervisor, Sir?”

No, I’d like to talk to Tron, because apparently, he’s the only one who can get things done in your organization.  Apparently, humans don’t run your joint, The System does, so put The freakin' System on the phone.

“I’ll put you through to a supervisor.”

Long pause with no hold music. The System must have turned it off.

“Supervisor blahblahblah, how can I help you Sir?”

I would like to stop payment on one payment inquiry on my account.

“Okay, is it one of the two that I see here that have identical numbers to the same vendor?”

YES! (*head explodes*)  Why is it that YOU can do it, and the customer service agent can’t?

“She’s not allowed access to that part of The System.”

We’re back to The System again, aren’t we?

“I’m not sure what you mean.....”

Is your name TRON?

“No, Sir, my name is Tran.... It’s Tran, Sir.....”

Um, yeah..... Likely story.  Well, thanks for doing what your customer service agent wasn’t able to do.  That’s 40 minutes of my life I can’t get back.  You guys oughta let Tron run this System of yours, he’s more accommodating than you jagoffs.

“…... You’re welcome Sir.”

This is why I’m on medication, and I don’t own a gun.


  1. I thoroughly feel you on this, ET.

    Just went three rounds with my mobile phone provider in a similar fashion.

    Honestly, if these "systems" had d*cks, I'd seriously consider shagging one.

    Brains and power?


    - B x

  2. The system was busy watching one of his own robot friends winning at Jeopardy.

  3. You really should quit whining ET, you actually got to speak to two, not just one but two, real live human beings which in and of itself is amazing considering you were calling customer service. Now whether their definition of customer service is the same of yours, obviously not, but you got a human none the less. Forget that they were ineffective and slow and possessed no power to actual serve their customer.
    Oh wait, I have a call coming...
    "Thank you for calling, Random Girl customer service, how can I help you?"
    Randy Girl

  4. I recently had to deal with the finance company that holds the title to our truck. To register our truck in Washington the DMV needed a copy of the title. "Yes, a faxed copy will do", I was told. Sweet! A fax takes like 9 seconds! No, I was wrong. It takes 6 phone calls, 2 departments, 3 supervisors, two online chat sessions and 13 days to receive a goddamn fax. At least a fax from Texas anyway. Jackoffs.

  5. A big giant thanks to everyone for the comments! I've been down for the count with the flu, so I'm just now coming back to life. Hannah, I haven't forgotten about you, I'll be over there to accept my award soon. As soon as the fever and double vision stops. *COUGH*

  6. Ugh, too bad about the flu... hang in there.

    I think I've done something like that a few times before (big online shopper), but the bank is right -- it's usually the vendor who fixes it, not the bank. And then when THEY fix it, they make your life awful for 40 minutes so that you don't think they'll be terribly helpful or cooperative if there's ever a next time! Brilliance.

  7. I feel your pain, although, when I don't want to accommodate an employee on some bullshit request, I say THEY won't let me do it.