I know this is a day late. I'd appreciate it if you get up off my back about it.
I'm not fishing for comments on this post. This is NOT a "pay attention to me" moment.
I'm in need of more followers. Minions would be ideal, but followers for My Lawn would be good. I guess I'm getting impatient. I thought if I snap my fingers and write witty banter, and babble wistfully about lame and boring stuff, people would want to read it. I've read a few hundred blogs, and well... That's what people write. Stuff. About stuff. And crafts, and pictures, and sex, and the gay, and Creepy McCreeperton that lives behind me and stares at me through the sheer curtains while naked with binoculars and a jerk sock.
I've got to keep believing that someday, my above average genius IQ will translate into a Nobel Prize, or at the very least a Blogger.com Tshirt. Seriously, my IQ is like 170 or something! (give or take a hundred) Shouldn't people be flocking by the thousands from all the little cartoon continents in my Stats window to read my masterpiece of a blog? (thank you to my friends in Russia and Singapore!) They stalk, read, but don't FOLLOW. I’m funny, insightful, and downright hilarious pretty much most of the time. Okay, ALL of the time, and you know it. Come on you lame ass jagoffs, click the damned link so I can sleep at night! I’m tired of being late for work, and the boss is asking questions. It wouldn't kill ya to save a life now and again.
I'm on 3 types of sleep inducing meds right now, and it's cutting into my Meth addiction. It would be really nice if you could stop by, and just click on the damned box for chrissakes. Now where did I put my works......?
Okay, maybe it is a look at me kind of post.
I'm in need of more followers. Minions would be ideal, but followers for My Lawn would be good. I guess I'm getting impatient. I thought if I snap my fingers and write witty banter, and babble wistfully about lame and boring stuff, people would want to read it. I've read a few hundred blogs, and well... That's what people write. Stuff. About stuff. And crafts, and pictures, and sex, and the gay, and Creepy McCreeperton that lives behind me and stares at me through the sheer curtains while naked with binoculars and a jerk sock.
I've got to keep believing that someday, my above average genius IQ will translate into a Nobel Prize, or at the very least a Blogger.com Tshirt. Seriously, my IQ is like 170 or something! (give or take a hundred) Shouldn't people be flocking by the thousands from all the little cartoon continents in my Stats window to read my masterpiece of a blog? (thank you to my friends in Russia and Singapore!) They stalk, read, but don't FOLLOW. I’m funny, insightful, and downright hilarious pretty much most of the time. Okay, ALL of the time, and you know it. Come on you lame ass jagoffs, click the damned link so I can sleep at night! I’m tired of being late for work, and the boss is asking questions. It wouldn't kill ya to save a life now and again.
I'm on 3 types of sleep inducing meds right now, and it's cutting into my Meth addiction. It would be really nice if you could stop by, and just click on the damned box for chrissakes. Now where did I put my works......?
Okay, maybe it is a look at me kind of post.
WHAT....?!
ReplyDeleteI'm intentionally not very technical. I don't put apps on my phone, either. So... maybe everyone else will understand, but I have no idea what following is or why it matters so much to you. I see the little Google ting. And there's a pretty lady in a green shirt TWICE, so she must have clicked it a couple of times...
Why two more followers? Personal goal? Benefits of some sort kick in at that point...?
I dont' understand... and I'm not following... but I am paying attention. I like your writing and think it deserves all the followers you could possibly want, for what it's worth. :)
I think it's because I had this lady for class one year.....
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEedFHxSVSI
Mama, I'm glad you're 'stalking'. :-)
looking up the youtube thing now...
ReplyDeletewhaa? i don't follow or stalk
unless maybe i do, but i just don't know it's called that. (but i hope not because it sounds fairly tacky.)
For real? There are all kinds of tricks you could do, but I think if you would check out other blogs and leave intriguing comments, that would do it. Or,....give out free suckers?
ReplyDeleteIf you manage to find out how to do it, can you let me know? Thanks.
ReplyDeletehttp://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/
Sorry it took me so long! :)
ReplyDeleteWell it isn't often that I follow orders...but I must say I like the swing of your stride.
ReplyDeleteAs such, I'm your newest follower.
You're welcome.
Also, middle child's got it right. Reading and commenting is the best way to get followers. It's slow, often tedious, and quite the time suck, but this writing thing is meant to be a labour of love, yes?
- B x
Middle Child, I'm looking to attract suckers, not give them away. hahahaha
ReplyDeleteCattle, I'll look into all of this and let you know. Thanks for reading!
Kristine, oh Kristine, you've been so busy with the 12 days of blogging, and chasing spiders, I totally understand. Glad you're here.
Barreness, I'm only wishing I was of Spanish decent. Sadly, I'm just a Scotsman by lineage.
Like The Barreness said...reading and commenting. Yeah.
ReplyDeleteOh, and a Scottsman is just an Irishman who made a wrong turn.... Don't hate me for that. I'm Irish so I'm allowed to be an asshole when I'm in my cups. Cheers.
And of course....I will follow.
Two thoughts...
ReplyDeleteAlways read "About Me" and take an interest in the writer's life beyond that particular post. It will foster a bond that keeps them reading your work.
And... I know you won't do this, but if you posted a photo of yourself, people would be hooked. Let's face it mr. transmission... you would give up your anonymity but gain a harem of swooning girls.
I know who you are, and I know what you look like!! :D Hugs...
Linda's right. I got my 400+ followers because of my hotness. :-)
ReplyDeleteSugar, I won't harsh too bad on the Scottsman/Irish thing. They're all hilarious.
ReplyDeleteLinda, you KNOW I can't post a pic, the witness protection program prohibits such activity.
Chrissy, I'm still trying to figure out why you're single. I followed because of the uber hotness. Just sayin'.