Country Thoughts

You can stand in front of the mirror your whole life and point a big finger over your shoulder at the ghosts standing off in the hazy distance.  All the while ignoring the person staring back at you. You can force your opinions of how the world has done you wrong on anyone who will listen.  Determined to find blame in the black cold world outside your dirty window, you will remain inside searching for something that will never reveal itself.  You’re convinced that your family, your friends and coworkers are all out to get the best of you... To suck the last breath out of your soul, leaving you piled in a heap in the corner, never to be thought of again.

Oh and don't you know that blame,
Is always never enough.
It just keeps you in the game,
‘Til you've only got yourself left to bluff.          

“Blame The Vain”, -Dwight Yoakam

Sitting alone, at the end of the bar, you will find solace in your anger, behind your mile high brick and mortar fortifications.  Your indignation alienates even the toughest beer slinging bartender.  You frown lines overshadow what used to be a wonderful smile.  The furrowed brow shows the world your pain.  You wear it like an old black overcoat, because it’s a cold, dark place where you live.  You can’t wait for your memories to end.

Two doors down there's a pay phone
But no calls come in
Two doors down there's a memory
That won't ever end                                       

“Two Doors Down”, -Dwight Yoakam

You’re invisible.  You’re convinced the brutally uncaring world does not see you.  They walk over your barely breathing body, without even a second glance.  You’ve thrown yourself down at their feet in hopes someone will reach out and offer you a lift up.  You see no other alternative.  This is your last chance at a new path. There is no other way out.  It’s done now, and you’ve got to finish it.  It’s time, this time.  Time is up, there can only be this one final choice, to end it.  To put all this pain behind you.  Stop all the uncontrollable darkness that is swallowing you whole.

Sometimes I miss that world out there
So empty, hard and unkind
But I've been thinking about leaving
Long enough to change my mind           

“Thinking About Leaving”, -Dwight Yoakam

You’ve forgotten one valuable memory here.  There is someone waiting for you.  One person, one small face, somewhere off in the distance.  You can barely see them through the dark, stormy haze.  They wait for you.  They wait for you to be well... To be whole again.  They are there, and they’ve been there all along.  Time to change your mind.  Time to come home.

‘Cause I pay rent on a run down place
There ain't no view but there's lots of space
In my heart
The heart that you own                       

“The Heart That You Own”, -Dwight Yoakam

It seems that my day has been filled with the country music musings from an old, friendly voice.  Thank you, Mr. Yoakam, for your music, and tonight's inspiration.