Sunday, December 5, 2010

I'm Your Xmas Elf!

Best. gifts. ever.

I am pleased to announce that these links below gave me hours of entertainment on a slow work day!  It’s sooo convenient, it’s all on one site!  Rejoice, oh weary Xmas shoppers, your worries are over!  Wonderful gifts for girls and boys of all ages!

click here“Hello, customer service?  Yes,  the CIA and a Post Office officials are here, and want to know why I was trying to ship this to my cousin in Northern Ireland.  They said it looked suspicious in their mail x-ray machines.... Any thoughts?”

click here This is for the man who has given up all hope of being under the mistletoe this holiday season.  I ordered a spare.

click here Please buy this for your half retarded, certainly inbred neighbor’s son.  Natural selection is HIGHLY underrated. It will help lower the pesky squirrel and Canadian Goose population as well.

click here Yeah, ya know what’s cool?  When you make these perfectly shaped ICE BALLS and then shoot them at cars from the overpass.  No, seriously, I did it yesterday, it’s awesome.  So are the fire trucks when they are weaving through the wreckage!  Good times.

click here  “Honey, why is Billy pooping in the back yard again?”  This and a hidden webcam, and you’re a YouTube Genius!  I recommend opening THIS present BEFORE Xmas! Make sure you're all set for Grandma's visit!

click here I’m on the fence about this one.... On one hand, it’s the non-violent version of a REAL crossbow, suitable for you Dungeon and Dragons fans out there.  On the other hand, what if you add marbles instead of marshmallows?   I’m the lone gunman in the tower.

click here Just dig the Zhu Zhu Pet box out of your neighbor’s trash, and VOILA!  You can disappoint your child for about 10 dollars more!  “What’s it do?” “Runs in a ball.”  “Oh.”  Yeah, that’s all it does, kid.  Life’s full of disappointment, kid.  It’s all downhill after Weebles. Make sure to read the description of the toy!

There are so many GREAT presents to get your loved ones this year, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t miss out on some of the best ones available.  Have a holly jolly Xmas.  Keep the knife away from your wrists, and stay off the egg nog.  It makes you do crazy things.  Like read this blog.


  1. Wow! Thanks for the tips. My list just got a whole lot shorter!

  2. I'm happy to be of service. Mind you don't shoot your eye out....

  3. christmas shopping just got easier...LOL