Friday, May 13, 2011

Flashback 2.5 (server crash special edition!)

*Since the Blogger servers went south for a couple of days, I thought I'd stick this one in, as it's now in order of occurrence.*

(self)Hey dumbass, you forgot a huge portion of your story, shit for brains.

What are you talking about, self?

(self)The STAIRS.  How did you forget about the stair incident?!?

Ohhhh, shit, I DID forget a huge chunk, didn’t I?

(self)You are such a dumbass.  You’re brain is fried, isn’t it?

Um, that means YOU’RE fried, genius.

(self)No way, dude, I’m on top of my game, I REMEMBERED the story.  You didn’t.

Whatever, dude...

Yeah, so in October, I was leaving a friend’s place.  She lives on the second floor of this house, and her steps are like fire escape steps.  Metal everything, all outside the building.  I always thought they seemed a little steeper than a normal set of steps.

We had been out on a weekend evening, and I was leaving her place to head home for the night.  I turned to say goodbye about 6 steps down the stairs.  As I turned back, I reached for the handrail.  I’m still nursing a small limp with my right leg from the bike accident, and my right boot heel caught on the tread of the step.  It’s dark, and I just plain missed the rail with my left hand.  If you miss a handrail in the dark, as your dropping down to the next step, you just might lose your balance.  I certainly did, and caught the metal handrail under my left arm on my ribs.  Down I went, and HARD.   Little bit of a scrape on my left knee, knocked the back of my head pretty good, too.  But my ribs were KILLING ME.  It was a biting pain as I breathed.  Yep, you guessed it, broke a couple of ribs.  Limp, sore knee, lump on the head, broken ribs.  What the hell.

If you’ve had a broken rib before, you know that there is no way to cast them.  You can wrap them with ACE bandage, and try to bind them, and keep them from moving around.  Reaching the top shelf in the kitchen?  Don’t even try it.  Pushing yourself up from your desk chair?  One arm only for a couple of months. Ribs heal very slowly, as they are constantly moving.  That whole breathing thing keeps them flexible.  Second time in my life I’ve broken ribs.  Never a fun time.

So more time spent trying to just sit still and not be in pain.  Note: Do NOT try and sleep on your side.  Bad idea.

Motorcycle accident, falling down the fire escape, hernia surgery.  I would like a do over for last year.

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